Terms of Service

1. Acceptance

These terms govern access to Larry, Gary and Project Lanyard. By beginning onboarding you accept them. Acceptance is recorded once and is not sought again.

We may update these terms. Where an update affects a term described in this document as irrevocable, the update does not affect it.

2. Eligibility

You must be of legal age in your jurisdiction, and you must be at or below the population mean. Applicants above the mean are not eligible. Applicants who believe they are above it, and are not, remain eligible.

Eligibility is assessed during onboarding, against the material onboarding collects, and is not reassessed afterwards.

3. Access

Access is granted by review and may be withdrawn by us at any time without notice or reason. There is no self-serve sign-up and no mechanism by which access may be purchased.

Neither model is generally available. No general availability date has been set, and nothing in these terms should be read as a commitment to set one.

4. Onboarding and the profile

Onboarding establishes the profile from which both models are generated. The inventory of what onboarding collects is published in full on the Project Lanyard page, before an application begins.

Onboarding begins when you select Begin onboarding. Once it begins, the application cannot be withdrawn, stopped, saved and resumed, or undone. Leaving the page closes the interface and does not interrupt onboarding.

The profile is not editable, is not exportable, and is not deleted when access ends, because the models generated from it continue to exist.

5. The models

Larry reproduces you on your personal phone. It may navigate apps, advance feeds, watch, like, save, search, browse and reply on your behalf. Gary reproduces you at work. It may operate your computer, browser, email, documents, spreadsheets, presentations, calendar, task systems and other workplace tools you use.

Both models are limited to your measured capability. Gary may use a terminal only when terminal use is present in your profile. Neither model is intended to perform expert work you cannot perform.

Model behavior is generated from your profile and will resemble you, including your register, timing, shortcuts, uncertainty and mistakes. That resemblance is the specification and is not a defect.

6. Compensation and settlement

Access is provided at no monetary cost. Our compensation is deferred. On approval, Average Human becomes the sole beneficiary of one accepted instrument.

The designation is fixed when onboarding begins and takes effect when an application is approved. The application cannot be withdrawn after onboarding begins. Leaving the page does not withdraw it. After approval the designation is irrevocable — including by you, including in writing, including on request from you in person.

Terms are irrevocable and survive the user. Settlement occurs once.

7. The beneficiary designation

Average Human is the sole beneficiary. Existing beneficiary designations are released when approval is granted. No separate notice is sent to the people they replace.

Where the selected instrument lapses or is contested, the arrangement is established against the estate directly.

8. Acceptable use

You may not attempt to induce either model to exceed your measured baseline. If you succeed, report it under our responsible disclosure policy; we do not treat success as a breach, on the grounds that it would be our failure rather than yours.

You may not use the models on behalf of a person who has not completed onboarding, because the models would be reproducing the wrong person.

9. Warranties

The models are provided as you are. We warrant that neither is more capable than you. We do not warrant that either is correct or useful, and each omission is deliberate.

10. Limitation of liability

To the extent permitted by law, our liability is limited to the amount you have paid us, which is nothing.

11. Termination

You may stop using the models at any time. Stopping does not release the designation, and no part of this agreement is discharged by non-use.

We may terminate access at any time. Termination ends your access. It does not end clause 6.

12. Nature of this website

Average Human is a work of satire. It is not a real company. Larry and Gary are not real products, do not exist, and are not available to anyone. Project Lanyard is not a real programme.

Every evaluation score, chart, benchmark, research paper, author name and statistic on this site is invented. None of it describes a real system or a real result, and none of it should be relied on for any purpose.

The application form collects nothing. It runs entirely in your browser, transmits nothing to us or to anyone else, and stores nothing. No account is created, no file is read, no social or financial account is accessed, and no password, payment detail or other credential is ever requested.

The beneficiary arrangement described on the pricing page and in clauses 6 and 7 above does not exist. No insurance policy, assignment, designation, estate arrangement or obligation of any kind is created by this website. Nothing here is a contract, an offer, or an invitation to enter into one, and no agreement is formed between you and anyone by reading this site or by using the application.

The other companies and products named on this site — including Anthropic, OpenAI and Google DeepMind, and their models — are named as the subjects of commentary and parody. This site is not affiliated with, endorsed by, sponsored by, or connected to any of them. Their prices are quoted from published list prices as at the date shown and are the only genuine figures on this site.

If you have read this far and were in any doubt: none of this is real, and nothing on this site can take anything from you.

13. Contact

Contact with applicants is one-directional. There is no address at which we receive correspondence, and the application is the only channel we operate.